I'm sure this post won't be very enjoyable to read but please bare with me. I woke this morning in tears and immediately headed to the shower where I could let it pour out in secret. Oh..what a safe haven that shower has become to me. I have to be strong for those of my children who are falling apart and truth is I mys...elf am falling apart. We are broken we are completely shattered and torn. We put on a happy face and we appear to be doing well but seriously we aren't. We are faced every single day with conversations from people all around us, most are total strangers...of multiple myeloma. We hear things that only make us more broken, afraid and completely helpless. We are totally aware that our time with Ron is totally in God's hands. We are aware that when we have asked the doctor point blankly how much time we have with and without treatment he flat refuses to answer us. Rons question last week was " if I make it to remission how long will I have"? The doctor has no answer....he simply said" maybe 2 years...maybe 4"? The treatment is so new for multiple myeloma that at this point there is only patients at the two year mark. Well..2 years even 4 years is NOT enough!!!! I am completely overwhelmed this morning at the reality that we are loosing Ron. I just this morning was made aware of a number of myeloma patients that have been in hospice since Ron's diagnosis. A harsh reality to read .....to listen to. We are no longer the people who only hear of others going through this...we are now those people. My prayer today is that we can focus on today. The fact that we have him here and now and even though he is fighting to live right now....he is living and breathing and he is ours as God permits. We are hopeful but we are also human and it is our nature to fear. The fear of loss runs deep in our home and among our family. Please pray for us today....for me that God will give me the strength I need to be hopeful in such a hopeless time. (copied from Maresa's fb page today 11-11)
Ron and Maresa
